The early signs of hair pulling are a symptom of emotional overload. Depending on your child's circumstances, her self-esteem and external support, her reserves have probably become low and she lacks emotional resilience. This can happen for a number of reasons, often in combination with one another. In my case, my mother was repeatedly and unexpectedly rushed off to the hospital due to emotional and physical problems. My father was often cruel and my siblings and I learned to join the atmosphere of disrespect to protect ourselves. It was frequently a case of "every man for himself." Since I was the youngest, I had very limited resources or resilience left to cope in a healthy way.

When a child's emotional reserves are low and external sources of emotional support are limited, if she experiences a sudden and unexpected trauma she may not have a better way to cope than hair pulling OR she may simply have stumbled upon it at a weak moment and found that it served her need.

Hair pullers who did not experience an apparent trauma before their pulling began likely have feelings that overwhelm and drain them regularly. They do not have enough emotional resilience and reserves to deal with them and feel forced to pull their hair out to keep these difficult feelings at bay.

My Parent Guide is designed to assist you to help your child to strengthen her reserves so that she won't have to resort to hair pulling as a way to cope.